life style

A first

Since March, at least.

It’s been nearly seven months since I’ve taken any sort of public transportation.

However, my mom had “a few things” for me to pick up for Miles, and my frail and tired ass couldn’t schlep it all home by foot, so I had no choice but to take the subway. I should note, that along with all the stuff for Miles, there were also two dozen homemade siopao in that bag, and they. Were. So. Heavy. At one point, I actually contemplated just asking Kane to pick me up, but taking the subway won out as the fastest/easiest option.

Maybe I sound paranoid, but I literally hadn’t even stepped into a subway station since before lockdown. I had no idea what to expect!

The short ride during an odd travel hour, despite there being few people on the subway, felt stressful. It’s possible my heart rate actually went up during that short time. I really didn’t want to sit or touch anything. I kept running through scenarios of other passengers sitting/standing too close to me, and trying to think of a relocation strategy.

I was actually so relieved once I exited the station and was back outside. I mean, I’ve been in public indoor spaces since things have opened up, but something about the smaller, confined space of the subway made me anxious in a way that I can only liken to the nerves I get before a plane takes off. Dramatic, I know.

I’ve been feeling really cooped up lately, in more ways than one, and the experience reminded me of lucky and privileged we are that I get to stay cozy at home with our little bud right now. I’m nervous about when I have to take Miles with me on public transit, but I’m hopeful that when that time comes, cases will be down (fingers crossed for minimal/no cases, of course!) so that I can have some peace of mind.

Okay, I didn’t realize that I had so much to say about taking the subway for a few stops, but here I am. I just thought I would share an outfit and a funny anecdote, but nope! Decided to bum you out instead. Sorry! As if you haven’t already heard or felt this a million times before, but 2020 has been so fucking wild.

Shoutout to EVERYONE right now, honestly. I know things could be worse, and I’m grateful for my health, but this pandemic has been R O U G H. The cold weather is sure to bring new challenges, but we’re just taking things one day at a time over here.

Outfit details:
Toque and trench coat – Uniqlo
Blazer – ZARA
Top, pants, and bag – Aritzia
Shoes – Nike

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