Embraced my skinny-fat whilst being photographed in my underpants.
Late last year (a weird thing to say since it’s still January), I received an email asking if I’d participate in a look book shoot—for a local lingerie boutique.
Contrary to what actually happened, those who know me probably think that I’d turn down a request like that in a heartbeat—and for the most part, they’d be correct, because I really REALLY was not about the idea of stripping down to my skivvies and being photographed.
I decided that I’d ask my boyfriend for his opinion. I figured he wouldn’t be about it, and that would give me the perfect out. Unfortunately for me, I have a really supportive partner who ENCOURAGED me to do it, because, “It’d be a really cool opportunity.” Of course, he was right, and so I was forced to confront my body issues and decide whether or not I was ready to have my bod out there in world wide web, forever and ever, amen.
Truthfully, if anyone else had asked, it probably would have been a hard pass for me. However, the ladies at Stole My Heart wanted to do this shoot to encourage body positivity and inclusivity in an industry that often promotes an unattainable “ideal.” How could anyone say no to that??
At the ripe old age of 27, I can honestly say that for the most part, me and my bod are a-okay. Do I wish to change certain aspects about my health and fitness? Oh, absolutely—but long gone are the days when I thought my clothing size determined how attractive I was, and I definitely don’t agonize over the odd roll anymore. I’ve more or less accepted my skinny fatness (a term I use in a positive sense), because I know that this same squishy bod can run 12k when I push it hard enough. I also know that this same body can do 30 yoga classes in less that 30 days when it’s motivated by a free month of classes (haha), and I know that just because I don’t look like the image of fitness everyone is used to seeing, my body is capable of a lot more now, than it was at 105lbs—a weight I acheived on a strict diet of vent coffees and sadness (I was post-break up a long time ago, long story).
My hope is that anyone who stumbles upon these images takes away the positive message that we were trying to convey. You’re only as attractive and sexy as you feel, and that sense of confidence comes from within and radiates outward. Cheesy, I know, but it’s true!
Anyway, enough about me. Go and check out Stole My Heart’s instagram and see the other amazing women who took part in the shoot.